Embrace the Parrot and go Hands Free - by AutoAnything
POSTED AT 10:16 PM

autoanything

Feeling: awake

Laugh in the face of Nature with a car cover
POSTED AT 09:09 PM

autoanything

It seems like no matter how much you pamper and coddle Mother Nature, it’s never enough to pacify her mood swings. That’s why you have to take the proper measures to protect your investment from her wrath. You’ve got to water-seal your deck, tie a hefty anchor to the bow of your double-wide, and sheath your auto in a car cover. Here’s why.


If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a petulant planet. It just seems like Mother Nature has been acting up lately, and I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve her fury. I recycle. I drive a low-emissions sedan. And I stopped burying my old motor oil in the backyard. In short, I’m doing my part. Why is it then that the Jolly Green Giant’s mom wants to dump all over me and mine with storms on a scale not seen since the Old Testament? Not but three weeks ago, a twister came whipping through our neck of the woods with more ferocity than a starved tiger in a nursery. By the time it blew away, fifteen of my neighbors were on their way to Oz. Of course, a lot of their foundations had been compromised by the flood that sloshed through town a month before that.

As I see things, Earth has a big bug up her keister. Some people think it’s due to all the pollutants we’re dumping into the atmosphere and ocean. But I have a feeling that it’s got to be something bigger than a couple cans of Aquanet and some Chaulpa wrappers bobbing around in the Pacific. In my heart of hearts, I believe that Mother Nature is annoyed that we’re pretending to be as powerful as she is. All that genetic engineering, scalping of mountain tops, and dam building is seriously cramping her style. The Greeks called it hubris, and the gods would exact harsh retribution in return. But in my mind, it’s not hubris at all—it’s progress. All we’re doing is outsourcing Nature so that it can work more efficiently for our ends. Besides, we can do it better, and it creates plenty of jobs for decent folk all over.

The only trouble with our development is that Nature is pushing back to try and recapture her old role as cock of the walk. But I refuse to be muscled around by some mythical, fig-leaf-wearing being. It’s just not in my red, white and blue blood to bow down to anything. I won’t back off, but I will take precautions to keep what’s mine safe from the backlash. For example, I picked up a couple of all-weather car covers for my Chevy and my wife’s Honda. Hers is a Covercraft, but I went with a Coverking because, well, I’m the king of my castle. Both of them are great for fending off anything that the heavens can throw my way.

You hear that, Demeter! You can’t push this man around with a little water, lightning and earthquakes. I’ve got my car covers, and I’m not afraid of you.

To protect your ride from rain, sun and the general riff-raff of ol' Mother Nature try Covercraft or Coverking car covers. They won't stop hail from denting your hood or the odd tree crashin' down but they'll help with just about all the rest. - David S. Brooks

How To Install And Operate Undercover Tonneau Covers
POSTED AT 05:48 PM

autoanything

You just made a smart decision to purchase a tonneau cover and you are ready to reap the benefits of your new accessory, but you need to install it first.  I will walk you through installation and operation tips.


Pre-Installation Notes:
1.    Paint rubbing off the truck is normally not a problem with this cover!  However, because Undercover tonneau covers lock the tailgate of the truck, the clearance is tighter on the tailgate so not to allow someone to "jerk" the tailgate open when it is locked.  Therefore, I recommend installing a standard tailgate protector on your truck. Many experienced truck owners install a sprayed-in bedliner that goes over the tailgate's top edge.  This is often the preferred method of choice for many truck owners.  However, a simple plastic, rubber, or thin chrome tailgate protector will do the job!  Paint rubbing on the side rails is extremely rare.  You almost have to intentionally mount the cover "out of square" to have paint rubbing on the side rails.  However, realize that paint rubbing is a possibility and is the sole responsibility of the truck owner.  Thin, plastic smooth side rail covers can protect your side rails and the cover will mount directly on top of these.   Materials such as 3M Scotch Cal or CabSkin protective films may be used to help prevent any possible paint damage also. You can ask your dealer for specific recommendations about your truck.  
2.    UNDERCOVER Tonneau covers are designed for trucks that do not incorporate a Plastic over-the-rail Bed Liner. Trucks that have bed liners, will require some minor trimming of the liner to ensure proper placement of the installation brackets.
UNDERCOVER Installation Instructions:
•    Step 1: Place the rear bracket against the truck stake pocket.
•    Step 2: Use two of the holes in rear bracket which are unobstructed by the inside side lip of your truck bed (there will be three to choose from). If possible, use the two holes that are further apart from each other for a more secure fit.
•    Step 3: Place bolt with washer through the hole. Place aluminum clamp on backside of bracket behind the bed lip of truck. Thread the bolt into the clamp being careful not to let the clamp twist while tightening (Please keep the clamp straight (in the up and down direction). Make sure the bracket is held down tightly against truck rail and in the right position before tightening!
•    Step 4: Repeat steps 1 and 2 for opposite side rear bracket.
•    Step 5: Per instruction, position the front bracket accordingly along the inside of the side rail closest to the front corner of your truck bed. This bracket is clamped on the inside rail of the front corner of the truck (where you have a place to clamp to). This bracket is designed to sit onto the top rail of the truck to provide you with a location to mount the front of the cover (so the front cover can hinge). Using pre-drilled holes in front bracket (which are customized for your truck), install clamps just as you did on the rear brackets (MAKING SURE THE BOLTS ARE VERY TIGHT!!!). This position is a good starting point, but you may have to make some minor adjustments in the bracket hardware due to slight variations in truck beds from one to the next.
•    Step 6: Repeat step 5 for opposite front bracket.
•    Step 7: Place tonneau on truck positioning female hinges on tonneau cover over the tangs of the front brackets. (Tangs are basically a small protrusion of metal that the female hinge fits onto). These tangs are the portions that protrude over the front rail and provide a surface for which the cover is to hinge upon. One you install the female hinge over the tang on each side, you will install split rings to ensure that the cover is secure and does not move forward. These split rings are very similar to the design of a key ring or a shower curtain ring (of course it is of industrial quality and strength) and will remain shut. These split rings designed to hold the cover in place until the cover is to be removed. These rings are designed to be very secure when closed but are also designed for easy removal when you are ready to remove the cover! CAUTION: BE SURE TO INSTALL THE SPLIT RINGS BEFORE ATTACHING THE HYDRAULIC STRUTS!!! The struts will exert pressure on the front female hinge/tang mechanism and you want to make sure the cover is securely anchored prior to installing the struts!
•    Step 8: Install hydraulic struts making sure the LARGE end of the strut is attached to the tonneau, and the SMALL end is attached to the ball stud on the rear bracket! Basically you slip the hole of the small end of the strut onto this ball stud and it snaps into place and is held in place by the pre-installed retaining clip.
•    Step 9: Be sure the front flap seal hangs over the bulkhead (or the front edge of the pickup truck bed). This flap over provides you with additional weather resistance at the front edge of the cover. Make sure this rubber flap is not folded or rolled up under the tonneau after installation. If flap seal is rolled up under the tonneau, simply open up the tonneau and from the inside, just use a yardstick or something similar to simply push the flap seal out form under the tonneau and over the front edge of the truck bed (bulkhead).
•    Step 10: Close tonneau and check length on the truck. There should be a ¼ gap between the tailgate and the rear overlapping edge of the tonneau. If this is not correct, adjust by moving the front brackets forward or back to achieve the correct clearance here. Front brackets may also have to be adjusted slightly to square up the tonneau on some truck beds!
•    Step 11: Adjust lock strikes. When adjusted properly, you should be able to turn the key to the locked position without having to push down on the tonneau. There should be just a very slight amount of play between the lock cam and the lock strike. A good rule of thumb is to adjust the lock by having approximately a 1/8 gap between the cam and lock strike with the truck tailgate down!! This usually gives you the proper adjustment once the tailgate is shut!!
Removal of Cover Instructions: Fast and Easy
•    STEP 1: Open Tonneau and with a small screwdriver (or equivalent), gently pry out retaining clip on hydraulic lift strut about 1/8. Then, with the palm of your hand pop (gently strike) the strut to remove the strut from the ball stud. DO NOT COMPELETLY REMOVE THE RETAINING CLIP! Holding the tonneau cover up with one hand, place the loose end of the strut into the strut storage clip (mounted underneath the cover) with the other hand. Repeat the procedure on the opposite side.
•    STEP 2: Remove Split rings from tangs on front brackets. BE SURE TO COMPLETE STEP 1 BEFORE REMOVING SPLIT RINGS.
•    STEP 3: Tonneau is now ready for removal
Re-Installation of Cover Instructions:
•    STEP 1: Place tonneau on truck, positioning female hinges on tonneau cover over tangs on front brackets and install split rings into holes in male tang on front brackets. Again, BE SURE TO INSTALL SPLIT RINGS BEFORE ATACHING THE GAS STRUTS IN STEP 2!
•    STEP 2: Lift tonneau up with one hand, and with the palm of your other hand, firmly push the strut over the ball stud of the rear bracket. You do not need to pry out the retaining clip when re-installing the hydraulic struts.
•    STEP 3: Be sure that the front flap seal hangs over the bulkhead of the truck and is not rolled up under the tonneau after installation. This flap over provides you with additional weather resistance at the front edge of the cover. Make sure this rubber flap is not folded or rolled up under the tonneau after installation. If flap seal is rolled up under the tonneau, simply open up the tonneau and from the inside, just use a yardstick or something similar to simply push the flap seal out form under the tonneau and over the front edge of the truck bed (bulkhead).

You are now ready to enjoy all the benefits that your Undercover tonneau cover has to offer. If you are looking for a different type of truck bed cover, I recommend checking out the line up from Truxedo. –Mike Rosania

4 Pieces of Flare No Truck Can Do Without
POSTED AT 05:43 PM

autoanything

There exists a virtual cornucopia of accessories that one can add to their rig; but which ones are truly essential? The following article delves deep into the psyche of one truck nut who’s determined to show his flair every chance he gets.



More flair Jimmy, more flair. This exact phrase emanates from my stupid manager’s pie hole every morning. You see, he’s the manager of the restaurant where I wait tables. You may have heard of it; Jolly’s Cantina. Anyway, Jolly’s is one of those restaurants that they fill with kitsch in an attempt to manufacture some “atmosphere.” And, as a Jolly’s employee, it’s my job to fill my uniform with flair and act as jolly as possible.

The job wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for my boss, Miles. He’s one of those restaurant managers who take his role very seriously. You know; one of those super skinny guys with a tie and a zit-pocked face who runs around so fast you’d swear he eats jet fuel for breakfast. Well, Miles and I don’t quite see eye to eye on the Jolly’s uniform requirements. I don the bare minimum that the rules stipulate, but Miles sees my efforts as purely mediocre. That’s why every morning he bombards me with the flair.

When I’m not waiting tables, I out cruisin in my 2002 Dodge Ram with a Cummins diesel. This baby sits sky high on a 12” lift kit and 44” monster mudders. I’ve got an AEM intake, Edge injectors, a Superchips Flash Paq and an MBRP 5” exhaust. Needless to say, the old Dodge is one bad-ass beast of a rig.

The other night, driving home after a mind-numbing shift with Miles on my back, I got pulled over by the local cop. He’s a mean one, the kind of cop that’d give your grandma a ticket for being too old. I couldn’t believe it, but old Roscoe pulled me over for my tires. He said they were sticking out too far from under the wheel wells. When I asked Barney Miller what I was supposed to do about it, he said first pay the ticket, then get some fender flares. All I could hear was; more flair Jimmy, more flair.

When I calmed down, I realized I could use these fender flares to help solve my flair problem with Miles. If that creep wanted more flair, he was gonna get it—in a big way. My plan was to simply install the flares and then show Miles what I’d done. The next time he asks for more flair, I’ll just direct his attention to my truck. “There ya go Miles, all the flare/flair you can handle.

2 nights later I called in sick and had my shift covered by my buddy, Juan. During his break, Juan called to tell me that Miles was fuming mad and cursing my name to anyone who’d listen. He was calling me a goldbrick and a champion for mediocrity. This got me so mad that I hopped into my truck and sped down to Jolly’s to have it out with Miles.

When I spied Miles smoking a cigarette out behind Jolly’s my temper just flared. Without thinking, I mashed the throttle on that old Cummins and in a billow of black smoke I launched the Dodge right over Miles’ Merkur XR4Ti—monster truck style. Those big mudders were churning up glass and metal, throwing debris all over Jolly’s back lot. The best part wasn’t the stupid look on Miles’ face, but the way my new fender flares kept the flying debris from scratching my rig!

In the end, I lost my job, but I have a new one down at the quarry. The hours and pay are great, and I don’t have to deal with Miles anymore. And, the only flair I have to contend with is the cool set of fender flares that are still doing a great job of protecting my truck.


Whether you have to add flair to your uniform or add Fender Flares to your truck, the internet is a great resource for both. As far as the truck flares, I went with a set of EGR Fender Flares. - Tim Saunier

How To Install A Magnaflow Muffler On A Mini Cooper S
POSTED AT 05:01 PM

autoanything

Ever see The Italian Job? Well if you have, you may know that Mini Coopers pack a big punch in a little package.  Here’s some instructions and tips for installing a Magnaflow Exhaust System to increase your Mini’s sound and performance.


1.    Your Magnaflow exhaust package comes with three pieces—a resonator, center pipe, and muffler section.  The front resonator comes with a mounting flange that bolts right onto your stock catalytic converter. This part connects to a center pipe that is secured with exhaust clamps, which are supplied.  And the rear muffler section joins together, exiting the car in the center of the rear bumper.  Also, all the parts are stainless steel, which don’t rust or stain—nice job Magnaflow.

2.    Now to the installation.  You will only need a few common tools to remove your stock exhaust; no exhaust cutters are needed.  Make sure you have help installing the system, it is very heavy and you will not want to drop it.

3.    First, you will remove the factory skid plate/ heat shield from the chassis, which can be down with a socket wrench.  Important—Do Not lose this piece as it will be re-installed after you install your new exhaust system.

4.    Now follow the factory exhaust up towards the catalytic converter.  You will now need to remove the mid exhaust mounting bracket from the chassis as well using a socket.  Make sure you slip the exhaust hangers out of the rubber mounting brushings.  Set this piece aside with your head shield as you will be reusing it also.

5.    Now find the flange on the catalytic converter.  It will have two bolts that you will need to remove.  Be careful in this process because your whole exhaust system is only supported by two rear hangers on the muffler.  This is where it will be handy to have a helping hand.  Have your buddy hold up the front section of the system, otherwise it will crash to the ground.

6.    You can now go to the back of the car and free the factory exhaust by removing the hangers from the rubber bushings.  Congratulations, your factory exhaust has now been removed. You are one step closer to hearing your car’s new growl.

7.    If you have gotten the factory exhaust off, you are pretty much in the clear.  You will install your Magnaflow system in the reverse order of taking the old one off.  You can start by matching up the resonator section with the flange to the flange on the catalytic converter and bolting them together.  They slip the connecting pipe into the resonator pipe and clamp it down with the supplied clamp.  This piece also connects to the factory chassis mount you removed earlier.  Be sure to secure the hangers into the rubber bushings.

8.    One more step.  Connect the muffler section to the connecting pipe.  The best way to do this is to slip the exhaust hangers on the muffler into the hanging rubber bushing first, then swing the rear section up and fit it into the connecting pipe.  Then all that’s left to do is tighten down the supplied clamp.  I would recommend making sure all your connections are tight and you muffler tips exit your bumper straight.  Oh yea, and don’t forget to re-install that skid plate/heat shield.

9.    You have just installed your Magnaflow exhaust system.  Turn the car and make sure you don’t have any exhaust leaks.  If everything is good, then you’re golden.  Enjoy your Mini’s new throaty growl and boost in horsepower.  Keep working on your Mini folks!


Upgrading your Muffler to a Magnaflow exhaust is just one modification that can increase your car’s performance. There exists a plethora of parts that will pick up your car’s pace. Just remember, avoid those speeding tickets. –Mike Rosania